by “Mecca Longwood”

Instructor’s note: This post was originally a presentation done by the author and his mother in class. They have chosen to publish it here under a pseduonym in order to protect the privacy of other family members mentioned. See the end of this post for an account of what happened in class after this honest and moving presentation.

One thing I learned growing up in my household is that women are more likely to be the primary provider for the child; so, when a mother goes to prison, that takes on a whole new meaning, different from fathers in prison. The visits alone could be a terrible experience. You get searched by adults you do not know inside a creepy building, and you have to talk to your mother through a glass on a phone.

I am the one to vouch that when your mom goes away it changes things that may be for the better, but at the time I didn’t see that. My brothers and I were separated in order to lighten the burden from my grandmother and my aunt, which made it harder to stay in touch with them. Things may have been different if mom was around, or maybe this is who I was destined to be from the start, but I have here the women who can give you the hands-on experience from being on the inside of the jail. My mother is here to tell how it can affect the mother as much as the child.

The day you were first arrested, did you think that would be the last time you would have with your children?

Mother: No! My thought was I will beat this they don’t have nothing on me for real.

The day in court when you were sentenced and I was in the court room crying and you were escorted to the holding cell how did you feel?

Mother: My soul was ripped from my chest. I had not a clue what had just really happened, but I knew my son was crying out there and i couldn’t do anything about it.

Do you remember the first time I visited you in DC jail? At the conclusion of the visit did it hurt you to see your children leave the institution and you had to stay?

Mother: Like fire to my soul, and I use the word fire because it burned like hell. No one really knows the pain of a mother being taking away from her babies like a mother unless it has happened to them, whether it be by death or a jail sentence.

When your children were graduating elementary and middle school, when you received the pictures, did that allow you to reflect on what you were missing out on?

Mother: That is the most heart breaking time of the sentence. It is a sentence all of its own.

How did it feel to have to watch your children grow through letters, pictures, and phone calls?

Mother: It is the worst to see through photos from year to year but it was better then nothing at all. Phone calls were OK — at least I could make the calls — but some people could not call home to speak to their children so I was blessed for that.

How did it feel to hear that your children were getting out of control and ended up in foster care?

Mother: Helpless to the situation.

You had my little brother while you were incarcerated. Did you feel he would struggle to figure out who mom is?

Mother: No, because i have a strong family foundation and I knew that it would not be a situation. That was not a fear.

Were you ever afraid that, since you left my brothers so young, they would forget who mom is?

Mother: Sometimes I did, but i knew I would have them all back under one roof. I always kept in touch whether through writing or calling and sending photos.

When you were transferred to [another state] did you think you would ever be able to see your children physically again?

Mother: No, I knew my time was coming up short and I would be home soon.

What effects do you think with you being incarcerated had on your kids?

Mother: Mentally I think we all was f###ed up but they are cut from a very strong cloth and we all are surviors, so they survived it all with me.

Do you think by you not being here with us for the nine years had an effect on how your children turned out later in life?

Mother: Yes, indeed I do! my mom and sister did a very good job with you, but I know I would have pushed harder and gave you many more opportunities. And once again this does not take away from my mother or sister.

Do you believe that missing all that time away from your children that you owe them a lot, because they been through a lot without you?

Mother: At first I did, but quickly I realized that I can not bring that time back. I can only move forward. We all have to go through some things to get where we are going and now I am home and i make the best out of what we have. Now that I am home.

Do you think it was easy for them without having Mom around?

Mother: No, I think mothers are very important in the upbringing of their children. Mothers will understand no matter what. No one can raise your children better then you. People will treat and raise your childen different and if they turn out f###ed up then you have youself to blame. If not you will always feel like some one else f### your kids over. When the real f###ed up person was you from the start.

If you had the chance to take it all back and think of your children before you committed your crime would you still do it?

Mother: NO!!!!!!!!

Thank you.

Being a mother in prison is something that can make or break a child depending on the guidance they receive while the mother is incarcerated. Once you are away from your mother and are being brought up by another guardian, you’re being brought up how they were raised, or how they think you should be raised. That can differ from the way your mother wanted you to be raised and she has little say so when it comes down to major issues if there is a discrepancy between the mother and the guardian.

The phone calls can start to weigh heavily on the person receiving the calls because of the expenses, and the child could get confused about what they should be doing and who they need to please. A mother cannot be replaced, only the roles of a mother. So when a mother is taken away from her child due to criminal activity the mothers need to stop and think about their child before any action takes place. Once the handcuffs are on, the police don’t give a mother any time to tell her children goodbye, so the end could be at that very moment. Some mothers do not think about the consequences until it’s too late.

Instructor’s note: The author’s mother, who has been gainfully employed in the years since her release from prison, took a day off work to come and co-present this piece with her son. Afterwards, the author and his classmates anonymously wrote their reactions and reflections and then shuffled the papers and read out each other’s words.

Some students wrote of their own parents’ imprisonment, drug use, or neglect. Others wrote of their own brushes with the law or fears of imprisonment. One student wrote of her mother’s intolerance of her lesbianism and revealed that this presentation inspired her to continue working on their relationship nonetheless.

This allowed us to revisit standpoint theory, which rests on the fact that what you can see depends on where you stand and holds that those standing at certain margins or intersections have things to say that others can benefit from hearing. All were grateful to the author and his mother for sparking this sharing and learning process.

See Relationship Behind Bars for another student’s reflections on visiting a mother in prison.

by Chantia Holmes

Many gays and lesbians have a hard time dealing with their family when it’s time to come out. There are quite a few lucky ones who have families who are very accepting and unconditionally love them no matter what. However, that is not the case with me.

I live with my grandma, who took me in when I was 11, when my mother died. Seeing as she is my grandmother, she is old-fashioned and believes that homosexuality is in the same category with murder and rape/molestation. (She thinks it’s perverted.) Although I was not ready to, I told her (my grandmother) about my lesbian life-style when I was 13 years old. Now, five years later, she still believes that it is a phase. Deep down, there are so many things I want to tell her, and I think a letter will serve the purpose, but, I am too afraid. So, I am going to post the letter here, and maybe one day I will have the courage to actually give it to her.

Hey Grandma,
Over the years, we were forced to learn to live together, due to unfortunate circumstances. You lost a child, and I lost my best friend: my mom. You then became my “mom” and raised me as if I was your own. When I was 13, I told you news that I believe no parent dreams about hearing: “I’m gay.” When I first told you, you told me it was a phase, and that it was a sin and I was going to go to hell.

Lately, we have been living as if I never told you. Truth is I am still gay. But I am also the same Tia that you have known and love all of my life. Life-style is basically defined as the morals and principles an individual chose to life their life by. My life-style is, well, gay. That does not mean, however, that I won’t be able to live life like a “normal” person. I will still have a great job, if I chose to, which I do! I can still live the American-dream life that everyone talks about. Most likely, I will. Instead of being married to some, unappreciative and no-good man (no, I am not a man hater) I will be settled down with my life partner, which of course will be a lady.

Moving on, I really want you to accept my life-style. For the past five years of my life, I’ve been lying to you about who I am with, what I’m doing, and so forth. Believe me when I say it’s not because I want to. You just give me no other choice. As soon as you knew I was going to be with another gay person or people, you would tell me no, I couldn’t go out. Of course being a teenager, I didn’t want to hear no, so I began lying. Now, I am tired of lying. I want you to know where I’m at and what I’m doing and who I’m with.

You are my grandmother, and I respect you so much, but Grandma, you have to understand. This is me. There’s no more to me, and there’s nothing less. Your acceptance would mean everything to me. I would never bring anyone to the house that I know you would not appreciate in your house, nor would I talk to you about anything I know you don’t want to hear. I just want to know that you understand that this is the life that I chose to live and that you still love me, no matter what. No matter whom I chose to love. In the end, I just want you to be proud of me and be able to say, “Tia is a great kid and I love her.”

by Sih-Nanga “Britney” Ndumu

Some people minimize Africa and have different opinions about it. Just to show how little they think of Africa, at times they call it a country! This is outrageous. Africa is a continent. Yes, it is underdeveloped but some places in Africa have better living standards than here in the United States. It is hard to believe but it is true. Cameroon is one of the small countries in Africa and I would like to emphasize it.

The population of Cameroon is about fifteen million. It includes both rich and poor people. The poor are those who can barely provide for themselves, that is, they feed from hand to mouth. The rich are more influential and you actually see wealth in them. When people in the United States think of Cameroon, all they think of is poverty. This is not the case.

In the United states, it is so rare to find people having full ownership of a house. A greater portion of people pay mortgage or rents to the banks for several years before they get complete ownership of a house or they get loans from the banks. Also, people don’t often own lands or plots in America; land is usually owned by banks or the very rich people. Whereas in Cameroon, it is more than normal to see people owning expensive houses. People use whatever they have to get a house of their own (Habitat for Humanity,2008). Some do pay rents, but this rent is paid to a landlord/lady (the person who owns the house) rather than to a bank or corporation. Owning plots and large hectares of land is a one-day process. People don’t pay for several years to get a land like in the US. They pay the money there and then, and then own the land or the house. If you compare some of these things, you see that Cameroon is better off in some aspects.

Cameroon is less developed. This is partly because they don’t exploit the resources they have and they don’t have the knowledge and technology to explore the minerals. The advanced countries (America and other developed countries) exploit the resources and escape. It keeps depreciating. But yet, these people who exploit African resources turn and call Africans undeveloped, uncivilized and all those names. How unfair! I believe greatness is coming to Africa and soon things will be better.

By Anonymous

Have you ever had a situation where you thought disaster was imminent? Have you wanted a true friend that would help you through that situation but never found that person? I know a Friend who is willing to accompany anyone at any state of their lives. He has given me strength to persevere through the most dark and toughest circumstance—Jesus.

I remember when my brother was amidst troublesome times during middle school. Some of his friends would display duplicity and pretend to be his friends when they really weren’t. They would join in the jesting and the insults against him. Every time I entered the bus in the morning or in the afternoon older students would portray their hatred against him and not share a seat with him. He had to stand up and endure every itching curse word and every burning name. Even after he left the bus the students would still launch foul language against him. He would slog home crying. The gushing tears wouldn’t stop pouring until he went to sleep. No doubt that these series of events would eventually take their toll on my brother.

My brother’s temper increased. His social life also decreased along with his grades in school. He would storm home, slam doors, throw items around, and start hollering at everybody at home. At times his annoyance was taken out on me or my dad who would try to console him—sometimes by physical altercations. There were other times when he would run away from home during the night. One time he was almost incarcerated and nearly caused my family to separate through social services. He would even conjure suicidal thoughts in his mind. To my brother, life was hollow. Despite church services and numerous proclamations of our faith, he still saw life as pointless. So it was time for me to halt this absurdity once and for all.
At this time I was still a novice Christian, however I still knew that Jesus could help mend any terrible situation. I implored my brother to shift his malevolent views towards life. I told my brother that I couldn’t fathom him discarding his life so early. He possessed talents and an intellect not worthy of discarding by a slit if a knife. I recommended Jesus as a friend to my brother. Jesus was the only one I knew who was willing to carry the burdens of my brother. From then on my brother has portrayed a more cheerful outlook on life. He opens up to more people and is making more friends. There are even sometimes when he gets those feelings he had before and he calls me to talk about those problems. Every night I pray that if my brother needed a friend that Jesus is there for him; so far Jesus has done an excellent job.

This is just one of many scenarios in which Jesus has interceded in my life. Jesus interceded just in time before an unwanted death was pursuing a family member. But he doesn’t only come to the aid of Christians; He comes to the aid of anyone who genuinely asks for his help. That’s the kind of Friend that I have. Jesus is never reluctant to become your friend.

by Anonymous

Instructor’s note: This student wants to share an urgent warning but has chosen to remain anonymous in order to protect her family’s privacy. Brace yourself for a heart-breaking story.

My father would have lived a lot longer had he not stayed in a nursing home. My father could walk, talk, feed himself, and put on his own clothes before he was admitted to the nursing home. Dilatin was the only medication that he was taking. Dilatin is a medicine for seizures. We took my father to the hospital because he kept falling. He was only falling because his medicine level was too high. The doctor from the hospital said that he could not stay home by himself and admitted him to the nursing home for therapy. Hoping that he would get therapy, I chose to keep my father in the nursing home for one hundred days. This would also put him at the top of the list for home health care.

My father did not want to stay in a nursing home. He was placed on Zipracta, Adavant, and a new seizure medicine. All of his medicine included ingredients to suppress anxiety and mood swings. When I visited my father the second week, he was in a wheel chair and sleeping. He was so drugged up that he could not even go through therapy. The therapist wanted to know what had happen. She stated that he was a jolly man and was doing well last week with his therapy but that that she could not do anything with him in his current condition.

When he was awake, my father reacted to me as if he had been beaten. When I reached to give him a hug, he would put his arms up as if I was going to hit him. He was wearing the nursing home night gown and his clothes and brand new shoes had been stolen. He had purple bruises on his arms and back. His regular doctor said that they were rashes. My father had an infected knot on his wrist. Ninety days later, he was admitted to the hospital where he died.

The nursing home could have been a better place had they had cameras, and better staff. My father had no problem with the original medications. Something else should have been done besides placing him on the harsh medicines. They could have taken them on rides to Ocean City or played music and made it a better home environment instead of an institution.

There is a rule that he could not come home with me until he had been in there a certain amount of time. Someone should look at this policy because I think that my father would have adjusted a lot better had I been able to pick him up daily from the start. We carried him a TV and radio and visited him daily. The staff had a certain time for the patients to eat. Most adults do not eat that rapidly. When I was able to bring my father home with me, he ate as if he was starving.

My family and I would visit my farther daily before he went into the nursing home. I gave him his medicine, and we would cook his breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. We took him to church, the doctor, and family events. I think my father would have been better off at home fallen. Instead, he was placed in a nursing home that called me almost everyday to tell me that he had fallen. He was happy but in ninety days he was gone.

by “Unique Individual”

Body art has become so popular in the past few years that it’s hard to walk down the street, go to the mall, or watch TV without seeing someone with a piercing or a tattoo. Perhaps you think body piercings are presentable and you’ve thought about getting one. But are they safe? Are they a good idea? What should you be aware of if you do decide to get one? Not all piercings heal properly because they are not meant to be in certain places. Several things could go wrong such as chronic infection, scarring, hepatitis B and C, skin allergies from the jewelry that’s used, boils, inflammation or even nerve damage. Some types of piercings people choose to get are the ears, oral, genital, surface, nostril, (nipples), lip, navel and tongues. The most popular pierced body parts seem to be the ears, the nostrils and the belly button. What many people don’t realize when they get a body piercing is that along with the hole in their body comes medical complications.

A body piercing is exactly that- it’s a piercing or puncture made in your body by a needle. After that a piece of jewelry is inserted into the puncture. A question often asked is why do people get piercings? It depends on the person. It may be for show, but for some it’s more meaningful. Body piercings are their marks of individuality and control. It’s about starting something new and taking care of it, proving responsibility and watching it become more useful. From glamour to Goth, piercings can enhance the best features in anyone. Those with large noses get nostril piercings. They tend to dress it up and can even make it looks more attractive. That’s a part of presenting it.

“Genital piercings are on the rise in women looking to stimulate the clitoris during sex,” reports Sarah Wagner, MD, instructor, obstetrics and gynecology, Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine and obstetrician and gynecologist, Loyola University Health System (LUHS). “While this phenomenon may be growing, genital piercings can cause serious health complications and women should be aware of the risks.” Even though people see ads like this in an article they still choose to participate in getting a body piercing. The woman’s genital piercing is at high risk of getting an infection then any other body part. Complications include bleeding, redness, swelling, pain, scarring, disfigurement and tissue trauma. This type of piercing also can pose a problem during childbirth due to its proximity to the birth canal. Also, tongue rings that are improperly placed have been known to cause a rare nerve disorder that causes unbearable pain for a person. That means shooting pains are sent through the person’s body up to 30-40 times a day. The only thing that helps this nerve disorder is to remove the tongue ring and allow the body piercing to close up.

My reasoning for getting my body pierced is very meaningful. I have ten piercings. Four on my ears, my tongue, my navel, under my tongue, both my nipples and a nape piercing, which is located on the back of my neck. I can say that I love getting pierced. I enjoy the excitement while getting them. Soon I will be getting the dermal anchor piercings. You can get it anywhere on your body and I chose my wrist. I’m more into the fun and unique piercings, which not normally a person would get.

Even though I’ve read and even seen the harm piercings can do to a person’s body, I’ve chosen to get more. As we all know, body piercing is a serious decision. But everyone has their own attitude towards piercings once they see the harm, if any. The worst that could happen is the wrong kind of jewelry for the area pierced. If the jewelry is too small, it can actually cut off the blood supply to the tissue, causing swelling and pain. If the jewelry is either too thin or heavy and if you are allergic to the metal, your body can sometimes reject the jewelry. Luckily my body reacted in a way that showed no harm and people will continue to get them just like me. By walking down the street, going to the mall, or even watching television I will still see people with a piercings somewhere on their body. Anybody who is considering getting any type of body piercing should learn about all the dangers that come with them or it will leave a permanent scar.

by Edward Irungu

A famous English novelist and critic by the name Aldous Huxley once stated that “Most human beings have an absolute and infinite capacity for taking things for granted” Living in America for some years has proven to me that statement does apply. Many people in America don’t really realize what they have, and by doing so, they don’t take advantage of it.

America has a lot of education opportunities and jobs and is economically blessed. I lived in a continent that would consider those qualities dreams. Even though American at the moment is going though an economic downturn, no one is dying of starvation and the dollar is still holding strong. If you compare that with the economy of a country like Zimbabwe, which is also going through major economic troubles, you couldn’t even come to a comparison. It’s the total opposite. Zimbabwe has been facing major hyper inflation. The situation up there is so bad and their currency is so weak that in January of this year they introduced a 50,000,000,000 note. They are now even introducing plans to issue 10, 20, 50, and 100 trillion bank notes. This is just one of the infinite number of problems the Third World is facing.

Don’t let me be misunderstood. I’m not writing this attacking Americans but writing of what I see every day. It’s reality; this is what’s happening. America is considered a land of opportunities, and education accounts for a huge percentage of the American opportunity chart. The American government has set up a system where K though 12 students receive a free education; but yet, over a million American students drop out of high school every year. Back in my home country Kenya, located in East African, education is not free. From K though 12, parents have to pay a monthly school fee for each of their children that attend school. Finding this kind of money is not easy for the parents. Some parents have no choice but to make painful decisions like having to take all the children out of school or picking who stays in school and who stays home;. Getting an education is a luxury in Third World countries. Many American students show the lack of understanding of how fortunate they are.

We in America take things like food and clothing for granted. In a country like Sudan which has been ravaged by civil war, simple things like food and clothing are obsolete. The people are starving and children are walking around with not a single thread of clothing on them day in and day out.

We should understand that not all people are fortunate as us here in America. We have to all stop being uninformed, stop showing ignorance, and most of all we have to stop taking things for granted.

Instructor’s note: Students often write about peer pressure. This  insightful entry explores the effects of another kind of social pressure.

By Stephanie

Being from a small town is quite an experience. Have you ever heard of or seen in movies where a group of older women sit around on the porch or at a meeting and gossip about everyone in the town? Well, welcome to where I’m from. Nothing’s a secret and don’t even think about trying to keep anything private. Your failures, your accomplishments, your mistakes, or your good deeds are out for everyone to know. How comforting, right? You make a mistake that you wish you could take back and ten minutes later the entire town, including your grandmother, knows about it.

Growing up is hard enough without people developing your character for you. The hormones and the awkwardness are plenty to deal with, but add on a side of judgment 24/7 and that makes it heaven. My sarcastic tone has not gone unnoticed, I hope. Adolescence is probably one of the hardest stages in your life, but to be where I’m from makes it so much worse.

What tends to happen is that those judging you seem to make you believe that everything they have observed and made of you is true. Of course it isn’t. Growing up is about finding who you are and finding out who you want to be. It’s about believing in yourself, no matter how many mistakes you’ve made and are going to make. But people develop such a perception of you based on your mistakes and failures that you begin to believe it yourself.

What I’m trying to say is that no matter if you’re from a small town where everyone knows your business or from a huge city where hardly anyone knows your last name, don’t let people judge you. Embrace your mistakes and learn from them. Cherish your accomplishments and keep trying. The way you handle what other people think or say of you says a lot about your character. Laugh off the comments and keep telling yourself that life is about opinions. Every one has one. You aren’t going to get anywhere hanging on to those opinions; you have to make your own.

by “Unknown Author”

Instructor’s note: “Unknown Author” has chosen to anonymously publish this story of being trapped in “The Matrix” of foster care.

Today in our society many young people and adults face many tribulations. Some face many hardships and difficulties throughout their lives. Some individuals may not have the chance to show empathy and see the world through the other person’s viewpoint. Hardships and difficulties may be shocking and appalling for others to see or hear.

I believe that some people have lives that are inspirational. The legend of one’s story can become so deep and display a powerful motivational push for some who have no hope. Some individuals may face things that only few can understand.

I state that “young people and adults face many tribulations” but, I believe it’s even harder as an African American in America to have equal chances and opportunities to get far in life. Blacks have faced and overcome many obstacles in American history. Many accomplishments as like the great Jackie Robison breaking down the color barriers in major league baseball, or even the civil rights movement led by great leaders like Dr. King, Malcolm X, and John Lewis inspire others. I believe that if one works hard enough and wants to succeed at life, then they can do it.

My title is Achievement against all odds while “Being trapped within the matrix”. I will get to the achievement part a little later; I used the phrase “being trapped within the matrix as my way to explain what it is and how I have dealt with the glitches and reboots of life while feeling trapped in a matrix.

In the 1999 film The Matrix, starring actors Lawrence Fishbourne and Keanu Reeves, Morpheus, who is played by Lawrence Fishbourne, says one phrase several times throughout the movie. “The matrix is not real!” is said a few times throughout the movie. Or the matrix is just like a computer system. I am pretty sure that many are familiar with the movie The Matrix. But I have my own personal story of being trapped in a matrix.

Like every great story there is a beginning to it. There were and still are many troubles that I have had since birth. The journey began when my biological mother had a lot of troubles and issues in her life; therefore, I was left in the hospital. I was raised by a family friend and I considered her my mother for eighteen years. I grew up just with another boy that my mother also raised.

We grew up on welfare and our family had many problems living on the north side of Washington DC. Washington D.C in the late 80’s was in rough stages as the stories I have heard and through my own eyes growing up in the 90’s. The crack epidemic hurts our people and the society. HIV/AIDS cases are on the rise. DC was not the easiest place to live.

As a young child, I guess it’s safe to say that I let my society that I was raised in influence me. My actions of being a bad student and problem child led my mother to stress and have several emotional and mental problems. It has also led me to become institutionalized in a hospital for children with behavioral problems. After spending nearly five months in there, I was placed in “the system,” meaning the foster care system.

I was placed in foster care on August 8th, 2000. I have been there since. The foster care system is “My Matrix.” When you are the system, life chances are tremendously stacked against you. The system is pretty much your parents. They have the say-so of what would be done on your behalf. They are the government and are in total control. They decide what they want to do with you; they try to benefit themselves by spending less money.

It was already tough as a young African-American boy, growing up in a urban city, on welfare, with little opportunity. Sometimes I can’t really explain this because it’s a very complicated situation. One example of complication is my funding for school. Although my education is free and I do not have to pay any expenses, other students may not understand why I don’t have to put down a room deposit, or have the luxury of filling out a room-deferment. In the system you are constantly drowned with court dates, meetings, and social workers, outside the system stress. That’s why I compare the system with the matrix, because the people within the matrix don’t know what going on outside of it.

I believe I have achieved a lot over the years. Achievement is overcoming the family situations, being hospitalized, spending stressful years in the foster care system, finishing school and going on to college. My list is endless. I continue every day to push and strive for a better tomorrow. I believe anyone can do it but you have to have the will and drive to succeed.

by Anonymous

Stereotyping affects many people in different ways. Being a victim of stereotyping, I was tormented in high school. Every day I was called a midget by my so called friends. From that experience to this day, I feel a sense of emptiness about myself because people only look at the outer me: how tall I am, the clothes I wear, and even how I choose to live my life.

In my opinion this world is scared of change. It’s the year 2009. People should be able to wear the clothes they want to wear; people should do the things that make them happy, and not have people telling them it’s wrong. Why is it that when a woman puts on a man’s shirt, or puts on a pair of baggy jeans it’s acceptable, but when a man puts on a tight shirt or a pair of snug jeans he is automatically considered gay? Why is this? Is it not acceptable for a man to feel good about himself and the way he looks?

One thing that I refuse to do is go out on the weekends and party or drink; I would rather go to the movies or stay home and put in a good movie. So all of my friends make jokes all the time because I choose not to drink. I am made fun on a regular basis because I have never had sex or been with a partner. I choose to wait for marriage, is that so wrong? My friends think so.

I often feel sad, depressed, and lonely for this reason, but having a supportive family and God on my side keeps me going everyday. At what point does the teasing and jokes become too much to handle? Think before you act and speak; nobody is perfect.